Sxt004's Blog

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Wake Me Up When Its All Over

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I’ve been quite the critic of myself lately. Wondering if I were good enough, maybe not good enough, just..enough. Have I become a man or am I progressing towards it?
Everything I have ever done has been for someone else.  Could this be something holding me back? Probably, but could it also be a driving force to become better each day?  So its the type of thing you dont want to be selfless but selfish.
Karmen, my rock, my hard place. Ive come to the realization that you are the thing that drives me. Both in a good and bad way. In my life, to this point, I would not be where I was without you. I went from dead end, to being content, to wanting it all and then some!  The amount of responsibilities I have gained in our time together have been great, but along with those it has caused me stress that is unbearable at times. I could be at Verizon/Centenniel in Lafayette still. Making good money, but not great and going nowhere. And before you, it would have been good enough. Hell I could still be in patterson, miserable and stuck in a rut but not noticing due to just cruising along.
Instead, I busted my ass for you. I went from a part time job at Acadian Smartphones to HR Manager at Viscardi. Keep in mind no degree or cert or anything…just hard work. I make 60k a year before bonuses, drive a 60k truck that I dont pay a dime for, and can afford to buy us a house. All within 4 years…no help from family friends or “knowing someone”. I put in more than what was asked and its paying off. Instead of getting content, as I would have before, I keep striving for more. A house, a child, a stay at home wife option. All for you. With what I’ve accomplished so far, all this is more than achievable in a time frame that will make everyone happy.
BUT while I’m doing these things for you, and trying to make you happy, I too am making myself happy. I’m never stressed or sad or upset as long as you are good. You being satisfied means I’m satisfied. Seeing you smile or get what I know you want, is like me getting what I want.

All I have ever wanted is to do for someone else.

Ily.

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Written by sxt004

August 29, 2013 at 4:10 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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