Sxt004's Blog

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The strongest dont survive

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The reality of life is we all die alone. Simple as that. I can live my life for 7 years for another person. Continually getting better…but…it could leave me alone when all is said and done.

How do you know, you ask? You dont. The only thing I know is how I feel. That feeling is I would rather end it all than know what its like to not have you. That look, that feel. Just the slightest feeling that can only be desceibed by someone with a broken heart.

As I stated in my previous post…I hope this is just me and not you…well I guess I hoped for the impossible. I feel so far from you right now because of me and because of you. I was right all along. I say it all the time I hate being wrong. I wish I were wrong.

I dont want to be alone. I dont want to just keep getting shit on. I want to have, hold, and be loved. Thats not alot to ask for when you have nothi g else.

You see Karmen, youve always been that difference. Ya know, that second guess.  Hey, I may not live this life alone. Hey I may not live for everyone but myslef. Hell I may actually have found my one good thing in life. But I feel as of late that I am wrong. For once. Im wrong, but because I was actually right
Im sorry
I love you. With every ounce of my soul
You arw the only person ive met that understood everything about me, who I am, who I was, and who I want to be.
Im sorry I let you down.
Im sorry I wasnt enough.
Im sorry I was such a fucking fool for believing I deserved something…something like you.
Every love song, every movie, every part of falling madly in love with someone has always been because you showed me. Gah I care for you. Your beauty only begins on the surface! I hoped I would be the one that proved that to you. But I wont be able to. I gave when I shouldnt have and didnt when I should. I messed us up. One more chance would be too much for an imperfect fool like me.

Just an imperfect, alone, emotional, lonely, soul who deserves what he got. This isnt about pity parties anymore. Its about truth and accepting myself for what I am..
The universes bitch
The worlds dumpster
The human souls shoulder to cry on.
A joke.
Youre just a joke boy. A silly little joke of a wanna be man…


Written by sxt004

October 5, 2013 at 7:28 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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